"The only thing worse than experiencing something, is not experiencing anything due to the fear of experiencing it"-- Richard AppleyardA while back, I wrote down this statement "The only thing worse than experiencing something, is not experiencing something," assuming that it was a quote that I had read. It is kind of a general statement of the saying "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." So I decided to look up the reference in the modern Oracle of Information, Google. I would say Oracle of Knowledge, but that would be giving Google's algorithms way to much credit in the era of "Fake News." Anyway, I found no results which was a little astounding. Usually I get hundreds of thousands, if not millions of hits on my searches. So it is always refreshing, and interesting to get none.
Of course, Google being Google immediately offers an alternate search using all the words in the sentence you have typed.
"The only thing worse than learning from experience, is not learning from experience." -- ??
"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about." -- Oscar Wilde
""Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -- Confucius
""Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -- Confucius
There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/o/oscarwilde128481.html
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/o/oscarwilde128481.html
There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/o/oscarwilde128481.html
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/o/oscarwilde128481.html
It got present to me again recently when my daughter started receiving rejections to her college applications. The university application process is long and frustrating. That is the subject of a blog of its own! But it is crushing to a parent to see their children's hopes and excitement dashed. And as a parent, you cannot show your disappointment, and feed into the drama and self-deprecation that comes along with rejection.
The one thing that came to mind for me was a recent revelation through some of my readings of Alan Watts and Ekhart Tolle. It is impossible to fail at life. Life is an experience, and the gift is to have a life to experience. "What will be, will be." And acceptance of your situation, whatever it is, gives you the power to do anything. What pretty much always hold us hostage is the mind chatter about everything and anything to do with what happened, trying to explain and justify everything. And this will cycle into a emotional cascade of anger or sadness. This is the minds way of processing the experience, and should normally result in a cleansing of the emotions. Unfortunately many or most of us get caught up in the "justice" of the situation, and we want to be vindicated about what was done to us. And then that becomes the whole point of the experience, rather than having the experience, and moving on. And then we spend our life avoiding experiences that might lead to that experience again. Only we typically find, in looking out for an experience, we continue to see and have those types of experience!
So, what we can do is recognize how we are responding to what happened, and reflect on whether we are over-reacting or getting into a self perpetuating emotional trap around it. And if we see others getting trapped, then help them through the experience by listening and guiding them forward and away from a self-perpetuating experience. Not easy! People have to see their own trap. You cannot do that for them. And some people have to hit rock bottom before they do. How do I know? Because I have been there in my own experience.
The one thing that came to mind for me was a recent revelation through some of my readings of Alan Watts and Ekhart Tolle. It is impossible to fail at life. Life is an experience, and the gift is to have a life to experience. "What will be, will be." And acceptance of your situation, whatever it is, gives you the power to do anything. What pretty much always hold us hostage is the mind chatter about everything and anything to do with what happened, trying to explain and justify everything. And this will cycle into a emotional cascade of anger or sadness. This is the minds way of processing the experience, and should normally result in a cleansing of the emotions. Unfortunately many or most of us get caught up in the "justice" of the situation, and we want to be vindicated about what was done to us. And then that becomes the whole point of the experience, rather than having the experience, and moving on. And then we spend our life avoiding experiences that might lead to that experience again. Only we typically find, in looking out for an experience, we continue to see and have those types of experience!
So, what we can do is recognize how we are responding to what happened, and reflect on whether we are over-reacting or getting into a self perpetuating emotional trap around it. And if we see others getting trapped, then help them through the experience by listening and guiding them forward and away from a self-perpetuating experience. Not easy! People have to see their own trap. You cannot do that for them. And some people have to hit rock bottom before they do. How do I know? Because I have been there in my own experience.
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